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 track listing:
 

other people - - unacceptable - - clever and stupid - - intimacy - - guilty -

someone else - - the real me - - independent - - paradox -

 

 


vocal album. songs written in 2009 and 2010 with a couple of older ones completed also

mainly guitars & bass, a few keys, more real drum sounds. no third party loops or samples
 

 

 

other people - play - play

it's now and it's contemporary
the time and place to be - what's the reality?
enjoying humiliation is degeneracy

laughing at deluded people - the death of empathy
the end for fellow feeling

you say "other people's suffering makes great tv"
you say "laughing at them makes me feel good about me"

take some poor fool who thinks he can sing
and show the world that he can't
then laugh at his surprise
the confusion in his sad eyes

laughing at deluded people -the death of empathy
the end for fellow feeling

you say "other people's suffering makes great tv"
you say "laughing at them makes me feel good about me"

independent - play - play

you don't seem to like it that i'm so independent from you
the fact is, i had to be

i sense that you want more involvement in my life
but when i wanted you to be
you either couldn't or wouldn't be

on the phone every time i hear
the disappointment in your voice
and i know you want me to need you
to trust you and confide

you're waiting for me to say something
waiting for me to give you something
but when i said it you undermined it
and when i gave it you didn't take it

but my confidential talk it never appealed to you
my needs were never acknowledged
and my attempts to trust refuted

you're waiting for me to say something
waiting for me to give you something
but when i said it you undermined it
and when i gave it you didn't take it
 

unacceptable - play - play

you made a mistake
you got something wrong
you slipped up for the last time
it's unacceptable

it's unacceptable and unprofessional
you're unacceptable and so unpfrofessional

you don't love your career
you don't worship the firm
you don't have out interests
running red through your veins

it's unacceptable and unprofessional
you're unacceptable and so unprofessional

i'm an egomaniac, self righteous and self obsessed
i'll dismiss with a glib smug phrase
all the effort you've ever made
because you're guilty of being human
and i've forgotten how to be
 

someone else - play - play

although i'm in all of your pictures
i just don't feel that i belong there
although you're in all of my memories
those memories don't feel real to me

it's like it all happened to someone else
it's someone else in the pictures
someone else did all those far away things
someone else was so precious to you

although i feel so very distant
i'm not trying to disconnect myself
although i know i'm very different
i'm not disowning anyone

it's like it all happened to someone else
it's someone else in the pictures
someone else did all those far away things
someone else was so precious to you

clever and stupid - play -

when she called me clever, and then he called me stupid
i was young so i believed them both
but what would that turn me into?

a self-loathing egomaniac, a reclusive dominator
painful shyness, crazy assertiveness
a faithful friend and a fearsome tyrant

this is what you do when you're
clever and stupid, clever and stupid
this is how you act when you're
clever and stupid, clever and stupid

when she called me handsome, and then he called me useless
with filial loyalty i accepted both
but what would i then become?

this is what you do when you're
clever and stupid, clever and stupid
this is how you act when you're
handsome and useless, handsome and useless

mad with pain but fired with compassion
trying to hide and be number one
afraid to speak, refusing to shut up
a great ally and the worst disputant

this is what you do when you're
clever and stupid, clever and stupid
this is how you act when you're
handsome and useless, adorable but embarrassing

the real me - play - play

you want me to be close, and confiding
but when i try to speak more personally
you sit silent, wait until i'm done
then you say what you would have anyway

you have such a fixed idea of who i ought to be
but i don't think you know that much about the real me

so i have to come to the conclusion
that what i am isn't what you want from me
you don't believe the real me exists
and you ignore any evidence you see

i know you love me, it's hard that i'm so self contained
but what you love is a persistent illusion
i lack the courage to break through this
and it would only turn you off me anyway

you have such a fixed idea of who i ought to be
but i don't think you know that much about the real me

we'll never be as close as you desire
not from any unwillingness of mine
but you want closeness with an image in your mind
with my name, my face, but not the real me

you have such a fixed idea of who i ought to be
but i don't think you know that much about the real me

you have a definite idea of who i used to be
but it never really matched up to the real me
 

intimacy - play - play

the age of intimacy is over
with each partner it gets square rooted
don't tell acquaintances or the media
and you'll have something you can share alone together

there are some things that the public has no right to know
they only think they do because everybody wants to tell them
(but this is intimacy)

just a glance, and you know what she's thinking
all your jokes that just the two of you get
knowing that you've never shared her with anyone else
no anxiety about who's been before you

the things you used to tell your closest friends
now get printed on a thousand glossy pages
to star in those rags is everyone's dream
intimacy and privacy no longer valued

don't even tell your intimate friends
let alone anyone who has your number
but you would really like to tell the world
if only you were famous, if only they would listen

after twenty girlfriends, all of them
and all of their boyfriends know everything about you
what is left for you and your latest
to cherish just between the two of you?

there are some things that the public has no right to know
they only think they do because everybody wants to tell them

just a glance, and you know what she's thinking
all your jokes that just the two of you get
knowing that you've never shared her with anyone else
no anxiety about who's been before you

when you've posed for a bloke's magazine
there is no intimacy
when you've shown your pants at the back of your jeans
there is no intimacy
when you've sold your wedding to 'OK' magazine
there is no intimacy
there is no intimacy - there is no intimacy

guilty - play - play

although i don't agree with you
i can't help but feel guilty
although i'm not the same as you
i can't help but feel guilty

i'm guilty - of not being the one that you wanted
guilty - of embarrassing you with your friends
i'm guilty - of choosing a life that pains you
guilty - of wanting your whole world to end

although your life would not suit me
i can't help but feel guilty
although you put yourself before me
i can't help but feel guilty

although my past is a placebo for you
i can't help but feel guilty
although my friends were all mad too
i can't help but feel guilty

i'm guilty - of not being the one that you wanted
guilty - of embarrassing you with your friends
i'm guilty - of choosing a life that pains you
guilty - of wanting your whole world to end

although i tried to speak to you
i can't help but feel guilty
although i wanted to be normal for you
i can't help but feel guilty

i meet my obligations to you
yet i still feel so guilty
and when i don't do what you want me to
i can't help but feel guilty

i'm guilty - of not being the one that you wanted
guilty - of embarrassing you with your friends
i'm guilty - of choosing a life that pains you
guilty - of wanting your whole world to end

i'm guilty - of leaving every thing that you value
guilty - of choosing my own way in life
i'm guilty - of seeing the world passing over
guilty - of choosing to outlive it now
 

paradox - play - play

they told me, "you shouldn't have to do what you don't want to" -but then they told me to do lots of things i didn't want to
they told me, "you have to dream of everything beautiful" -but they gave me nightmares / bad dreams of pressure and anxiety

it's all twisted round, it's just a total paradox / so beautiful to look at, but so ugly underneath

they told me, "everyone has got to be included" -but then they left me to watch the phone while they had their meetings
they told me, "we want you all to have so much freedom" -but then they made me write down everything i did every day

it's all twisted round, it's just a total paradox / so beautiful to look at, but so ugly underneath